tonight.

2010-06-23T22:20:00.002-07:00

"those who amount to nothing, live in the past."

oh god wise words, cousin, wise words.

OH GOD I SHOULD START WORK NOW! YAY I HAVE NEW ASPIRATIONS. I SHALL LIVE!!!!!

hahahahahaha. (:

2010-06-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

turns out that he's totally a senior of my aunt.

LOL.

and they talk the same. i dont know. either its the age, or the schooling or they're just plain talk-the-same. lol?

but im glad that im not that only one out there who's having the same kind of dilemmas about what to do in the future. except that he isn't that much older than me, sooooo basically i don't know what's gonna happen to him. in order words, it isn't comforting that i don't know what could possibly happen if i take that route.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

choices, choices.

THE TIME WILL COME.

EVENTUALLY.

NO NEED TO FRET NOW!

(oh yes i do)

anyway the thing about going overseas- by which, i realise that GCP is a really good experience- is that you just want to go overseas.

ok i want to go uni overseas. yay.

lol nice and quick decision made yeah.

need tah work for teh scholarship yeahz.

and even though i've only been gone for slightly more than a week, it feels as if i was overseas for 3 months or smth, and then it's so weird to be back here. like some things have changed. though subtle, they're still changes. it's like i've just returned to society or smth.

mm hmm.

and tmr morning i am so totally gonna nua.

i think i am still jetlagging.

this is

bad.

2010-06-05T09:50:00.000-07:00

hello.

we're back from london and paris~

haha. mm i didnt really feel much when i went there, instead i felt a lot when i wrote my reflections. fine. so reflections does help. and i didnt expect everyone to write like so much either, since last yea when we went to shanghai it wasnt that much.

i miss london and paris. when i came back, i felt so blue. lol?

i think i learnt a lot there, though i think more life lesson stuff than art stuff.

ooh.

dont really want to type things here, most stuff are in my reflections booklet.

though not everything cause there wasnt enough spaceeee.

oh and currently im just totally spamming kdrama now.

once i finish this i pretty much wont be watching anymore kdramas till the end of eoys. yup i can safely say that cause i usually dont watch kdramas. movies, at most.

i plan to try to finish my coursework by the end of june hols. quite impossible, but its an aim. and if i can plan it out properly, it is possible. but that would mean that i would have to push aside my studies. that's bad. ok so maybe not. umm.. we'd see tmr. i'm planning tmr. i should be able to finish the drama by tmr too. i spam like 7 eps a day. -.-

2010-05-22T21:21:00.001-07:00

i think too much.

seriously.

i think too little too.

really.

and i wonder if all that thinking about non-productive stuff will help my life/self. if it doesnt, why do people think about these kind of things? there is always a purpose to something. but a purpose does not necessarily mean that it will be helpful. and if so, to what extent? what becomes useful and what does not? does thinking about supposedly not useful things make me a better person? there should be of some help, but it depends on how we use the knowledge that we obtain.

i realised that i click well with egoistic people partially because i like to suan them.

but its really easy to open up to them too.

but all in all, there is a certain attitude towards their egoistical self that differentiates my being able to click with them.

("whaaa...?")

LONDONPARISLONDONPARISLONDONPARIS!

HEHEHEHE.

i plan to sketch smth every night before i go to sleep because i need to improve my drawing skills.

2010-04-07T12:09:00.000-07:00

MY DRAFT FOR PERSONAL STATEMENT IS DONE!

YES.

although im not too sure what the heck am i doing but.

it is done.

the draft.

good (riddance). for the time being.

i wrote about something i didnt want to write abt at first but its the thing that im passionate about that i think the most about.

seriously.

my art sucks and yet i can still think so much about it.

amazing.

2010-04-07T08:15:00.001-07:00

we ran 2 + (6 + 80m) rounds today.

I think... I ran faster than usual. I just had the sudden urge to keep running at the same pace. Usually when I got behind someone I would just stick behind her. And even if my legs are like, "go, go, dont slow down" I just slow down to the person in front of me's pace.

Well today I didn't, and my timing for the 6 rounds was like... that.

AIYA I DONT KNOW LAH.

4th round i alrd wanted to die and the only thing that kept me going was, 2 more rounds, 2 more rounds. THEN MY 8 ROUNDS DIE LAH. by half the thing im like $@#Y#$&*% =.=

ok i shall count the previous 2 warm up rounds as 1 round since i like half walk for that.

mmhmm.

andd.

ok nvm. i should stop trying to predict my 2.4km timing.

just. remember.

to.

keep running.

keep the pace.

OHYEAH

then right.

today i casted shan's face.

which reminded me of GD's album.

so i was like running here and there cause i didnt want to delay time nor not be there for too long in case she feels umcomfortable, so in conclu i just ran about alot today.

felt like i was training for napfa.

._.

THANKS SHAN.

man what would i do without a friend like you.

you know, i can see us growing old and meeting up when we're 50 and well. you know. drinking coffee at some cafe or smth.

2010-04-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

i hate coursework.

i hate it that i cant do what i want.

Natalie is (supposed to be) back (2 days ago)! :)

She will (might) come on mon!

and invigilate us.

lol.

-eats paper-

im feeling like a panda.

nyuawhh.

2010-03-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

recently i've been listening to The Killers.

They're quite brillant!

I love their MVs.

Previously I had thought that they were some heavy metal band (going from the name) but turns out that they're like indie rock. They're really very cool, I love their style. esp. the MVs. and the music. (:

2010-03-30T11:10:00.001-07:00

"Jing? I can't even find a word to describe her."

I really like that, shan. haha.

2010-03-30T10:49:00.001-07:00

i haven't been here for a short while.

anyway im choinging maths sia now. eeks.

school is tiring.

i think the new sitting arrangement will be somewhat good because i will be influenced to study harder. really. it's been a long while since I've been in such studious atmosphere. (it almost feels nostalgic.) it's kinda good that im sitting with different people now. at least the class can be more bonded.

coursework.

I have the setting laid out in front of me.

in my mind that is.

i know what i want. how it should look like.

however, the material gods are not with me and i had not much luck sourcing for the materials i need. But it was only a day (a very busy weekend gone). So perhaps i may find some other. But the shops that i hoped (and half-expecred) would supply the things i needed did not have the things i wanted. i was very sad. ):

Fortunately I have somehow managed to source (AND FOUND) online the thing i wanted! except that i currently worry for my own budget. But i realllly want it to look like how i visualise it to be.

I explained my idea to mr chang and ms yap seperately on monday. I feel that the three of us are going at 3 different paths. the 2 teachers suggested two different things whilst i want my own thing. ): Im not sure if i should follow what they like. let's be realistic. my coursework will be graded by them. I am not staging an exhibition free to public no holds barred. It will be subjected and scuntinised under the teachers and be given a MARK. a GRADE. which i feel is unfair to the art that we will be doing. because. art is subjective. i may like it, my friends may like it but they may not. if they dont, my effort will be totally crumbled into tiny little pieces because of GRADE. a number. which would affect my overall grade and msg. sad, isn't it. :/

Tomorrow i will tell them that i have found a site that might ship me the thing i want. I will cast a head because that will definitely be included.

i am sad because i realise that if i want to be an artist (which i will not be), i will be a sad artist.

what rubbish am i spurting. my brain isn't functioning well.

tmr is wednesday.

it will be fine.

friday will come.

and i will sleep.

Sleep misses me,

as I, her.

Math misses me,

but I do not.

Dear Math, I wish I could leave you for Tomorrow. However, it cannot be done as Tomorrow has requested that you are to go to him tomorrow and only tomorrow. Today asks that you be finished tonight. Tonight is urging me to go to Sleep soon, for only Sleep can save me.

I am seriously talking rubbish.

Back to Math, whether I miss her or not.

2010-03-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

OHMYFUCKGOD.

I FUCKING DIDNT DO ANYTHING I WASNT SUPPOSED TO DO TONIGHT (ie. using facebook and whatsoever.)

I DID MY FUCKING WORK I FEEL LIKE SMEARING THOSE WORDS ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

this is like one of the rare days i actually dont get distracted, so let me live in peace.

ok im calmer now.

i did my work. posted on wordpress.

good day.

2010-03-18T03:20:00.000-07:00

how.

i am at the stage whereby i see no point in my idea.

it's already thursday.

i cant find my bio AS 3.3

how.

my chem suckssss.

i am tired.

i feel super nua.

2010-03-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

Singapore Arts Fest!

(im slacking on work)

2010-03-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

graces.

i enjoyed indoor games the most. fullstop.

i did not enjoy formal dinner. i was feeling really uncomfortable in heels and get super pekcek by the hour. ):

the school should change the company they engaged for the workshops.

only the ex-SIA girl was the only keep-ppl-awake speaker.

ok i dont want to talk abt it alrd.

it wasnt much to me. :/

POSTIVE SIDE:

well.

graces has somehow re-discovered the little girl in me that slowly disappeared as i got older. i think i was quite girly when i was young. haha. i currently have a higher tolerance for shopping. whee.

and i kinda learnt about makeup. though im not used to making my eyes all weird. it doesnt seem.. um. normal.

i learnt that heels only kill your feet. perhaps wearing platforms might be better.

anddd. idk.

i've been crossing legs more regularly now after graces and i dont even know how that happened.

2010-03-08T23:58:00.001-08:00

happy(:

anyway, saw 2 korean siblings on the bus.

the little brother was whining to the older sister about her lying to him about smth.

cool man i actl understand.

2010-03-08T09:02:00.001-08:00

yay i finally finished the cup.

i quite like it.

it is inspired by a childhood incident.

we were at Great World City, when they still had this giant slide thing (now that i think of it, it might not have been giant since we were so little. but i think it was giant. yeah. i still rmbr that it was forest-themed. with forest and stuff. and tree trunk. and you went up the slide into this little hole thing and slid down.)

so di and i went to play.

and then after many rounds, my parents wanted to leave.

but i said, one more round!

then they didnt let me.

in the end i was stubborn and went for that last round.

and.

guess what happened after i emerged from the slide?

MY PARENTS WERE MISSING.

so i panicked!

then i asked this ah ma sitting at the bench on the side if she knew where my papa and mama were (and my own ahma, if i rmbr correctly). obviously she didnt.

but i was too little to think rationally that complete strangers would not know the whereabouts of my parents.

and i was crying, btw.

then etc etc in the end my parents where standing at the side.

they had purposely hid from me.

such evil people, right.

and that's the story behind my inspiration. :)

2010-03-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

tmr.

doesnt feel like anything. haha.

two more days to graces. more like, wearing sari.

need to learn the ropes of wearing a sari soooon. haha.

li's wearing one too!

career conference today.

i wanna be an art director~

it sounds like what im doing now.

idk.

just feel like it.

it'd be fun.

i think i'd like it.

and be used to it.

the only thing holding me back is the income. :/

i wish i didnt need to care so much about money.

but get professional degree first for backup.

yeah.

good thing i chose marketing/advertising. (:

not like i'd be in law anyway.

2010-03-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

My first 10/10 quiz for the whole of term 1, i think.

see how fail i am?

last year it was so much easier to get such grades.

i thought about it, and realised that the root to all my current unhappiness is probably my guilt towards how badly im doing for term one (although it's not shown yet but i bet it is) and my progressive heck-care-ness about assignments and quizzes etc.

went out with my aunt and uncle and gong gong and ah ma for dinner.

like my uncle says, "actually money isn't as important as people think." which is why he's like all childish sometimes but serious when he needs to be.

i have to learn that.

that studies aren't everything. studies are IMPORTANT. but studies aren't everything.

we still need to be happy.

some people have worked hard through their life and sure, they've earned lots of money, but at midnight, they're lonely people. so what if you have money? money can't buy you happiness.

im still trying to find that balance between work and play. which to me, is hard.

i dont want to work my life away with the ultimate aim to make myself "financially stable" yet never having time to relax and enjoy life as it is.

how to find a job that i'll enjoy yet still be able to get an income that can satisfy my material indulgences? im still fairly realistic, so i dont splurge. i just want to live life to its fullest. maybe not its fullest. i dont wnt to live life to its only to regret what i have ended up with.

most of the time you can get job that has no relevance to your degree. i guess i could just get some degree without fully knowing what job i would want.

im thinking about quitting nafa. :/

apparently i have chosen mostly the less popular choices for career guidance on mon and tues.

my class is too... mugger for me.

sometimes i wish i was in 406.

there are kinda more of my kind of people.

i will sleep now.

i had planned to sleep at 10.30.

it is now 11.45.

2010-03-05T06:20:00.000-08:00

im feeling absolutely lousy now.

i don't like my class.

(i will regret saying this later but. i really feel ): right now)

maybe it's just some people.

i miss 201.

and aep.

and the 6D gang.

suck.

the choice to change tablemate was not the best choice to make.

i miss shufang.

at least she talks to me.

2010-03-03T10:19:00.001-08:00

YAY I FINISHED IH.

i think my blog very boliao.

anyway.

TWO MORE DAYS!

I CANT WAIT TO SLEEP IN.

wait.

that'll only occur next Wednesday and Saturday.

omygoodness how come even hols i also cannot sleep in! ):

life sucks.

june hols, i'll wait for you. ):

at least comps are over, by then.

2010-03-03T08:02:00.001-08:00

I NEED TO CHANGE TABLEMATE PLEASEEEEEEEE.

2010-03-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

towards the end of aep we were absolutely high.

i love my table (although im pretty unproductive there). our table's the "stay downstairs to do work" table (the rest... go mac lab do research and stuff).

we were going mad.

i can't even remember why i was high~

oh yeah. MR CHANG gives the weirdest voice impersonations. when he meowed, it was totally. .__________________________________. haha.

i think it's cause WEEK 10'S COMING (no more lessons) + i was at aep so i was pretty happy. ^^

ok because i just checked my sms-es, i realised that i have much more things due tmr.

SO BYEBYE. I NEED TO DO IH. neh.

wait.

i need to address an issue.

andand BOY-GIRL TWINS ARE TOTALLY NOT IDENTICAL.

you know what identical twins are? twins that come from the SAME FERTILIZED EGG.

BOY-GIRL TWINS ARE FRATERNAL.

THEY DO NO COME FROM THE SAME EGG!!!

OMG IM GETTING SO AGITATED OVER THIS.

STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS.

NOT IDENTICAL NOT IDENTICAL NOT IDENTICAL! OH PLEASE THEY CANT BE IDENTICAL!!!!!

CALM DOWN, DUDE.

i cannot.

SHEESH.

i think im only agitated because you were like, "are you sure that you two are not identical?"

don't doubt me. i know better than you do.

2010-03-03T06:06:00.001-08:00

EWWW what is this?

im doing IH now and i find all sorts of oddly phrased sentences in the essay which i dont remember seeing the last time. and the even odder thing is that, we were not penalized?

2010-03-02T08:46:00.001-08:00

THREE MORE DAYS!

Term 1 is coming to an end soon.

I feel that mine was pretty screwed. a bedtime of 1am, sleeping in class (from without meaning to, to calculating if it'd be an important lesson and just sleeping cause i really need it). I can't immediately absorb what i'd learnt. Especially chemistry quizzes. ESPECIALLY.

I think I need a change in seating. I need a change of environment or else i'll get too comfortable (and hence, find zhou1 gong1).

So, this March hols, I NEED to REALLY REALLY sit down and study whatever I have been taught this term. Or else. Doom.

Last year already and 1/4 my year's gone. ):

2010-03-02T06:15:00.000-08:00

oops, i think i hang around 406 a little too much.

2010-03-01T08:33:00.001-08:00

hah.

my wallpaper is currently Sour Sally.

2010-03-01T06:09:00.000-08:00

do you think i'd be able to get a part time job at Kinetics at the end of the year?

or any advertising/multi-media/graphic designer company.

i want to make use of my young reckless age to try out things i may not have the courage to try when im older. and at the same time try to get a clearer vision of what i plan to do.

2010-03-01T03:21:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHA I FINISHED THE CLASS TEE FRONT LOGO WITHIN LIKE 50 MINS.

it has the very hand-drawn feel (well, it is hand drawn, technically.) but its definitely not up to the back standard. but i still like it. the girl is cheerful.

haha.

NAT SMSED ME.

from australia.

WHOAAAA.

she's coming back soon! in april.

i feel like an irresponsible aep rep.

oops. ):

ANYWAY,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIZHEN! (:

this is odd. like using the com for 15 mins seems... wrong. which is why im blogging.

i should get off now.

bye.

2010-02-27T06:48:00.001-08:00

went out with shufang today after art.

shaole didnt want to stay to meet sf cause too long.

i ate xiao wan mian by myself. ): cause shaole left and sf hadn't come yet. some car guy sat at the same table with me on the right, another couple on the left. sian.

so we met at bugis junction and sf tried to shop to shoes while i tried to shop for dress/accessories.

she found this really nice pair of heels at at pretty low price BUT they dont have her size. sian.

only white. so nv buy. and it makes her even taller than she alrd is.

i bought this cuff bracelet thing. :D i like.

plus a necklace.

i like the cuff more.

WE MET LINSHA YAY!

hah.

yeah. (:

that's about it.

im tired.

2010-02-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

oh woe by gone.

im not even sure if i should be worrying about it.

2010-02-25T08:17:00.000-08:00

they're asking me to make the sec 3's graces shirt ugly.

but.

i feel bad.

i want a shirt too you stupid school. D:

but anyway the girl's has my favourite colour on. hope the sec 3's like it (and are grateful that they didnt get our this year's design dammit). but it's with orange. which is kinda weird but whatever.

shan are you guys really printing a shirt?

OH AND yeah illustrator is cool although i didnt use it.

oh and today i let mrs wong check the dress.

and then

PEOPLE STARTING FLOCKING TOWARDS ME. (they wanted to see the dress)

like O.O

why me!?

2010-02-25T06:41:00.000-08:00

yu xin, linsha and nicole cant go for the aep trippp.

which means zhiping probably also cant go?

oh man this is sad.

i realised that the people going are mostly the bright-aura (yellow) people.

i know you dont get me.

2010-02-25T05:44:00.001-08:00

i think i finally found my ambition.

i want to be an illustrator.

2010-02-24T08:56:00.000-08:00

one day the group of us should take a photo in some field (WE NEED TO FIND A FIELD)and take act cool (mysterious) photos whereby everyone's dressed alike (preferably black) (or maybe dont need to be dressed alike) with a serious face, standing slightly apart from each other and looking at the camera.

like BAND photos.

YEAH MAN. haha.

ok one more thing to add to my to-do list after EOYS.

OH WE COULD DO IT WHILE WE'RE AT PARIS/LONDON.

ok that's cool. :)

if we could find a field, that is.

2010-02-24T08:50:00.001-08:00

i think this is a good concept

2010-02-24T08:44:00.000-08:00